The question is: do people even do this anymore? Seems like people are just obsessed with the next political disaster and there’s a 12-second limit on attention span. Are people following blogs and are blogs being written completely by AI? I went back to read my original posts and I found them quite entertaining. I was proud that I could write such thoughts before having to worry about being totally “correct”.

I can tell when someone is using AI, because it’s new and we still have genuine writing to compare it to. Yes, there are good writers but there’s always a better way to say something if we really think about it. That’s my weakness (and could be my strength), I don’t think much before talking. Generally what’s coming out is exactly what’s in my head and I’m trying to process it. Unfortunately, it’s gotten me in trouble and causes me to ruminate at night over what I “could have said”

Getting back to this blog stuff. It could be a part of finding – me – and finding my people. For too long I was tied up in knots about who I had to be to fit in and become who I thought I wanted to be. This ultimately left me in a state of feeling like I just didn’t belong. I thought if I paid my dues and looked the part I would be embraced and brought into the “inner circle”. I thought I would know what it was like to be part of some sort of machine that I could always depend on and that I could express my deepest (and yes darkest) thoughts to. I thought I’d be embraced just because I had alternative thoughts and views about how to have a well lived life. It doesn’t work that way.

So I’ve been on a mission to just be me, and see how it lands. I found that “people” like me and that feels good. I found that my “crowd” is eclectic and not the coiffed, together, club and activities set that I had spent so long trying to impress. The people I enjoy are more introverted, cynical, colorful, scattered, passionate, take some risks, creative and ready to make the hair stand up on your neck every once in a while – just so that they know you’re their people. My people seem to keep their circles small just the way I like it and don’t really have a need to cross, collect or combine circles which is something that really stresses me out.

I’d like to say I’m not judgmental and that my people are not judgmental but really I think there’s no way of getting away from that. Certainly, I’m judging people who are judgmental and that who are “a certain way”; those who I found out are not my tribe.

So as far as a “blog”, it really doesn’t matter at all. I don’t know if anyone other than me is doing this and it really doesn’t matter.